Vanessa turns 19 today. At 19, she is a strong, beautiful woman who has overcome more than her fair share of obstacles.

Vanessa was born on July 26, 2000, weighing in at 3 pounds 2 ounces. She suffered a life of neglect and abuse until she was adopted at 8 years old. When I adopted Vanessa, I was told she had a whole host of diagnoses like PTSD, ODD, borderline intellectual functioning, expressive and receptive language disorder, severe anxiety and depression. She was this tiny little over medicated girl eager to please the adults in her life.

Vanessa wins the award for most improved. At 8 years old, Vanessa was weary of strangers, worried about everything and everybody, and was working years below grade level in school. Within 6 months of her being home, she was off her meds and done with therapy. She made lots of friends in second grade and won the hearts of all the adults in school. She tried her hardest at anything she ever did. She took pride in caring for her siblings and being the oldest. She was finally living the life she deserved and was able to adjust to being a little girl and not being the care taker.

At the age of 12, Vanessa, the sweet angelic, princess I knew and loved, turned into every mother’s nightmare- a preteen. She got an attitude, tried her hand at dishonesty, and tested limits. I was not a fan. I worried; it can’t be a good thing for a mama not to like her child, right? It was also a tough time in her life because the summer she turned 12 is when her dad left, which took a toll on all of us. I’m sure I had less patience right at a time when she needed me to have more patience. Just when I thought her and I would forever be at odds and that there was no chance for a happy ending, 12 faded away into 13 and the storm clouds dissolved into sunshine and rainbows. I liked my child again. The attitude melted away, she found her way to honesty, and she respected my authority. I began to actually enjoy our time together.

Vanessa continued to have great friendships and was always well liked by her classmates. She’s so kind and compassionate and has a huge heart. She’s the first one to help someone who struggles and to lend a hand when someone else needs a boost. She’s great with kids and babies and I’m 100% sure she’s going to make a great mom. She’s responsible, makes good choices, has a heart of gold, and is trustworthy.

Going into 9th grade, I decided to homeschool Vanessa for high school, a decision we both are grateful for. Having her home not only did great things for her educationally, but it strengthened our relationship. Now, at 19, a young adult, Vanessa is not only my daughter, but my friend. Happy birthday, Vanessa, I love you!

*pic- Vanessa and me on our cruise, Jan 2019